Especially for the masculine in our society, insecurity is often treated as something undesirable, a weakness.
Men, you would be surprised,
How much the feminine appreciates you and is attracted to you when you own your insecurities and doubts instead of holding up walls;
How your vulnerability - perhaps paradoxically - reveals itself to be a leadership skill;
And to start understanding that the loudest men in the room are the ones with the biggest unworthiness complexes.
I remember how I craved to feel more confident.
Sober at my best, I felt at ease around trusted family and friends.
Drunk and high, I felt euphoric and partially relieved from my insecurities for a little while.
But more commonly and in my worst moments I suffered a lot - I would be constantly afraid to be abandoned when in intimate relationships, sometimes the mere anticipation of talking to the cashier at the grocery store would make my palms sweat, and I was constanstly questioning and rewinding everything I had done or said in social settings, hoping I didn’t say or do anything weird.
I thought that what I needed to overcome all of this was to feel more ‘confident’.
In my imagination it looked like a state in the future, in which I would always feel charismatic, slightly cocky, respected by other men, and desired by women.
It turned out that the true confidence I was looking had nothing to do with any of that, at all.
It was to stop believing that I needed. tochange who I already was, without needing to fix myself first, ánd, to not hide any aspect of myself anymore, nor from myself nor the world; neither my strength nor my weakness.
It was by sharing some my deepest insecurities with others that parts of my ego dissolved and made room for a more natural sense of ease. And it is by continuously allowing myself to feel insecurity when it arises that I can feel whole.
If you desire to feel more confident, there is a few things you can do.
Play more with your full self-expression. Leave people that judge you.
Be radically transparent and honest with yourself and intimate partner(s).
Share something vulnerable with someone or in a men's/women's circle. Commit to live a life in which you're honest, raw, open, and live from your heart.
It will create massive shifts. Guaranteed.