Personal words

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After a difficult childhood that included losing my mother at an early age, being bullied, and leaving my parental home at age 15 to live with a friend and his parents, I was left traumatized and searching for a way out of my suffering, at first in all the wrong places.

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At age 12, I started smoking weed, and by 18, I entered my wildest years, discovering the techno rave scene in Amsterdam. I used many substances to escape my struggles at weekend-long techno parties and festivals or during endless nights of drinking with colleagues in the hospitality/nightlife industry. Eventually, I realized my problems were only getting worse. I got more anxious, depressed, and even suicidal, so I began to look further.

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In a way, my spiritual journey began with MDMA and XTC, which opened doors in my heart that I before didn't experience so open. But it truly began in 2015 when I stumbled upon a YouTube video on Buddhism and meditation by Koi Fresco (now Vishudda Das).

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The Youtube thumbnail showed not an old monk in robes, but a trendy, tattooed young man from L.A. talking about meditation, which is how it sparked my curiosity.

 

As I started watching the video and he spoke about Buddhist monks using techniques to go inside their minds to resolve suffering, I felt this was the key I had been searching for.

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A few months later, I booked a one-way flight to Bangkok and found myself meditating in a traditional Thai monastery under the guidance of a local monk and the strict schedule and discipline of monastic Buddhist life.

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The first four days, nothing happened, and I struggled to sit for so many hours. When I was close to giving up and dropped my expectations, on day four, something happened. Sitting in front of the big Buddha in the meditation hall, I suddenly heard the jungle sounds, felt my body relax, and started to feel at peace for no reason. It was a perfectly mundane moment and, at the same time, the most powerful experience of my life. The peace stayed with me but faded after some weeks.

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I had a temporary relapse into my old life in Amsterdam afterwards, after which I left again with a one-way flight, this time, with no plan to return.

 

Ever since, I have traveled and lived around the world, seeking a deepening of what I had tasted. This led me to spend time and study with countless teachers, monks, monasteries, and schools from various traditions: Yoga, Neo Tantra, Classical Tantra, Neo Advaita, Classical Advaita Vedanta, Tibetan Buddhism and Dzogchen, mystery schools, coaching modalities, Jungian psychology, men's work, shamanism, sacred sexuality, qigong, Ayurveda, plant medicine, pranayama/breathwork, energy work, reiki, satsangs, and coaches—I've tried everything I could find.

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Out of all these modalities, these years have for a large part been oriented towards meditation, yoga, silent retreats, personal practice, renunciation, and withdrawal from the world. Some of these years were in India, Australia, and since 2020, Portugal. I underwent deep purging and cleansing on all levels of my being and experienced an intense energetic realignment, that by some would be known as a Kundalini process, which is an on-going alignment in less intense ways.

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Over time, and out of a sense of calling, I've started to explore my own abilities in transmitting spiritual work through coaching, meditation, yoga, retreats, and bodywork. I have often been surprised and humbled by the transformation I've been able to facilitate for others and the feedback I got on the potency, which led me to dedicate myself full-time to this work since 2021.

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Teachers

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My most important teachers all lead back to the unofficial lineage of Ramana Maharshi, a teacher who isn't alive anymore. His picture stands on my altar.

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Some other of my most important inspirations and teachers who have taught me and transformed my journey and work include:

 

Adyashanti, who taught me true meditation and guided my journey through countless hours of his talks and courses.

 

Swami Atmananda Udasin from Ajatananda Ashram in Rishikesh, where I felt Advaita beyond words in the powerful energy of the ashram and where I return yearly if I can.

 

Michael Bijker, who taught me the art of yogic breathwork and qigong and became a good friend that I know work with on projects for his platform yogalap.

 

Surinder Singh, who taught me powerful Hatha Yoga and was a profound example of how to embody love and kindness as a Yoga teacher.

 

Christopher 'Hareesh' Wallis, with his work on Classical Tantra.

 

Chris Bale, who opened me up to deeper layers of embodiment and energy.

 

Lama Lena, who deepened my non-dual practice and understanding through her Tibetan Buddhist teachings on Dzogchen.

 

Ganga Mira, who made me palpably feel Ramana Maharshi's silence in her satsang and community in Portugal.

 

Ty Landrum, who completely transformed my Vinyasa Yoga practice and teaching since I started studying with him online in 2021.

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I have also spend a lot of my time with the Vipassana school of S.N. Goenka, which trained me in intense Vipassana meditation, which was a powerful journey but a phase that clearly ended for me in 2022.

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As well as, Awaken as Love, the school that took me out of traditional, sometimes rigid practices into the liberating world of Osho-inspired Neo Tantra as well as shamanism.

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And Mooji, who was the first one to help me realize Ramana Maharshi's teachings and what I am beyond my body and mind through his online transmission.

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And mother India and her teachings, and deities. A place I deeply love, with traditions I deeply love, which has been a significant part of my growth and to which I return yearly if possible.

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These days, I am half-based in Portugal and half-nomadic, sharing silent retreats, 1:1 mentorships, yogic therapy, weekly Sunday live sessions, energy and bodywork sessions. You can often find me teaching at tantra festivals, month-long community experiences with Innate, or retreats in the Algarve.

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Thank you for being here.